Over 450 years of advice from 5 elders, ranging in age between 70-90, was condensed into 30 minutes of conversation. This is what I got from it.
Their backgrounds? A Navy dentist, a Vietnam War veteran, a retired judge, a retired teacher, and a former nurse. Across all 5 conversations, the same topics came up again and again: family, staying active, and not waiting to do the things that matter.
According to a 2017 Harvard Gazette report, researchers behind the Harvard Study of Adult Development tracked participants for over 80 years and found that close relationships were the strongest predictor of happiness and health.
“Simple times with good people is the recipe for happiness.” – Linda Rollings
Ted Murawski, 95, served as a Navy dentist during the Vietnam War era. He said staying active improved his quality of life more than anything else, and he always tells people the same thing “pick a job you love, and you will never work a day in your life.”
”Have fun with your friends, go on adventures while you still can, and live every day like your last,” Ted said. “It is also good for younger people to go out and serve the community.”
I met Ted at the veterans home in Chicago. He told me many stories, but the one that stood out to me was his service at the Hines veteran hospital. Once a week for about 10 years of his life, Ted would serve injured veterans in the Edward Hines Veteran Administration Hospital. He often visited Veterans with severe paralysis and other physical disabilities. Ted says that serving at Hines gave him great joy and fulfillment.
Ted said watching his son grow from a baby into a successful entrepreneur was an extremely fulfilling part of his life. He does have one regret. He left a car sales job he really enjoyed and had a high salary to switch to real estate, and he said he never should have made the change. Sales was his passion, and he was too good at it to have left.
“If it ain’t broke, don’t fix it,” said Ted.
Bob, a Vietnam War veteran from Bridgeport on Chicago’s south side, said walking 8 miles to and from work every day kept him fit and happy. He said he got to see all sorts of people doing all sorts of things on those walk.
“Have unique experiences. Travel if you can, and enjoy art and your hobbies,” said Bob.
Bob, who is recovering from a stroke that caused partial vision loss, said he regrets letting friends drag him into street fights when he was young. He wishes he had walked away. “I wasted so much time and energy on conflict, when I could have been focusing on positive relationships.”
The Pew Research Center’s 2009 report “Growing Old in America: Expectations vs. Reality” found a similar pattern. Many older adults surveyed said they wished they had worried less and spent more time on what actually mattered to them.
Retired Judge Gus Giannis of Berwyn, IL, said he wishes he had stayed in shape later in life because it now limits what he can do.
”Enjoy food, family, and especially work hard in school,” Gus said.
His wife Georgia Giannis, a retired teacher, said family has always been the most important thing to her. But she added that friendships take work too, especially as you get older.
”As you get older, it is easy to move away from earlier friendships, but it is good to hold on to them and occasionally get together to catch up,” Georgia said.
Georgia also regrets not traveling more because she was afraid of planes. She wishes she had seen more of the world while she was able.
Cornell University’s 2008 Legacy Project interviewed some of the oldest living Americans and found that the most satisfied among them built their lives around gratitude and daily connection.
Linda Rollings, a former nurse, said some of her happiest memories are Sunday drives with her late husband in their Corvette. He was not just her husband, she said. He was her best friend.
After he passed, Linda moved to Florida. She said she missed her family in Illinois almost immediately and is now in the process of moving back.
”Spend time with people you love, and don’t be afraid to share your love,” Linda said. “Also, get out into the world.”
